#i should do ANYTHING else. what is my fucking PROBLEM.

[essektheylyss]

My thing about Veth potentially venturing into polyamory is that I do think everyone involved would be perfectly fine with it and happy to help her experiment, and I think that no matter how they do it, it would not fix her. This isn't to say that she wouldn't get any benefit out of trying! It's just to say that it's not a solution to her actual problem, because I genuinely don't think the problem is that she's lacking any one thing that would make her life complete.

Fundamentally, I think Veth struggles with the idea that there will come a point at which she has to settle. Not in a bad way, just in the sense that she is one person with one life and she will have to live within those bounds. Because the thing is, I don't really think her issue ends at struggling to "have it all"; to an extent she does! She is a good parent, even if her kid is a little rebellious; her marriage is supportive (and has fun sex); she gets to go off to save the world with Yeza's blessing on occasion, when the world needs saving. She doesn't have all of these things all the time, but... that's not really a flaw, that's just a fact of life.

But she started out her adult life settling to an extent—even if she loved Yeza and loved being Luc's mom, she did the safe thing that was expected of her. The goblin attack and everything that transpired after shoved her out of that life, but in retrospect, to an extent it likely feels that that pushed her to find something more that she wouldn't have had otherwise. Being pushed to her limit under the worst conditions made her better, stronger, braver, and at the end of it she found that she could have both her original life and much of her new life—so why wouldn't she then wonder if further experiences of that ilk could do the same?

Crucially, she has not actually run up against a hard limit yet, and as such she hasn't had reason to believe that there is a point at which she has to stop and recognize that there isn't more for her to find. When she was drinking more heavily during missions, even when it caused the death of herself or others, there were no long-term consequences. And the thing is, I'm not saying that she should face that kind of major consequence, but she seems as though she is scared to accept that maybe she could be happy if she stopped before she does.

I'm also not suggesting that she should stop experimenting or trying new things—the Luxon knows I am not one to talk in that realm—but I do think she is searching for novelty not because that would make her happy, but because she doesn't believe that she has the capacity to know what would make her happy. She was unaware that polyamory was even an option, so think of what else she might not be aware of! She doesn't have perfect knowledge of the world, after all, so how can she trust that she's found what she really wants? So yeah, she could fuck someone else, and it might even be an enjoyable experience that she didn't know was missing! But that only prolongs the question of what else she might be missing.

I think that deep down, she's terrified that if she doesn't keep pushing until that external hard limit, she will end up with regrets later, and simultaneously she is resentful that her friends all seem to have reached a point where they are largely content with what they have, because she wants them to have everything. She wants herself to have everything. And she has not yet allowed herself to come to terms with the fact that only she can determine when the everything of what she already has is enough, and anything else is the cherry on top.

[cakepoppresent]

Don't Let Me Slap You

Would Gideon actually beat the shit outta Malcolm if Veronica asked? No, but he would scare Malcolm a little cuz he would think it's funny

Transcript under the cut~

Veronica: Let me know. Should I beat your ass now or later?

Malcolm: What the hell did I do?

Veronica: Oh! So I should slap some sense into that thick skull of yours too?

Malcolm: I didn’t DO anything!

Veronica: Malcolm.

Veronica: Just think critically for 5 minutes. Do you think ignoring her messages and calls is any better?

Malcolm: I didn’t do anything. She shouldn’t be interested in looking for Andre. It's stupid and it's only going to get her hurt

Veronica: It’s like you want me to slap you in front of all these people

Malcolm: She’s the one that walked out on me.

Malcolm: I thought you’d be on my side.

Veronica: Lets use our thinking caps right now. You know you’re both very important to me yes?

Malcolm: Yes...

Veronica: So why did you think I’d side with you when your acting like an manipulative asshole. Is that how I raised you?

Malcolm: I’m...not being manipulative!!

Veronica: Refusing to talk to her? Ignoring her calls? Benji limits his contact with her so he won’t make YOU angry. All because she’s doing something you don’t want. Explain how that’s not manipulative.

Malcolm: *standing in slience foolishly*

Veronica: Well?? I’m waiting. Am I wrong?

Malcolm: *Refuses to answer*

Veronica: Yeah. That’s what I thought.

Malcolm: Why is no one on my side in this ?! Why am I in the wrong! Is it wrong to want to protect my peace?!

Veronica: Your way of protecting your peace means punishing Luna for wanting to do something you don’t like! That's unacceptable and I need you to cut that shit out TODAY and have an actual conversation with Luna OR ELSE I’ll get Gideon to beat the shit out of you

Malcolm: God! This isn’t FAIR. Its like no one is thinking about me or my feelings!

Veronica: Luna has ALWAYS put you first and you KNOW that.

Veronica: Let me ask you. That business man she’s been dating has she introduced him to you at all?

Malcolm:...She’s still seeing that scay ass dude?

Veronica: She’s been seeing that man for a YEAR and you know why she hasn’t introduced you? Do you wanna know?

Malcolm:....

Veronica: Because she KNOWS you don’t like him and doesn’t want to make you uncomfortable. Your feelings ALWAYS come first and it's pissing me off that the one time she wants to do something you’re punishing her for it.

Veronica: I’m giving you until the end of the fucking week to reach out to Luna and apologize for your shitty actions or I swear to God I’ll get Gidon to beat the fucking shit out of you. Do you understand?

Malcolm: FINE! Fuck whatever.

Veronica: Yeah thats what I fucking thought. Don’t make Luna cry and actually TALK to her

Malcolm: Wait...Shut up do you hear that?

Veronica: I beg your pardon? Are you insane?

Loser #1: Did you see that stuff about Luna online?

Loser #2: Be specific there is a bunch of shit being said about her

Loser #1: They’re saying that the dude she's been seen with is her “sponsor”. I guess since shes pimping herself out to the highest bidder

Loser #2: Hahaha shes “High Class” she won’t look at a poor man like you

Loser #1: Maybe if I take out a loan she would roll in the sack with me. It's clear she's in need of funds her family is in shambles!

Malcolm: I dare you to say that shit again. I fucking dare you

Loser #1: What the fuck is your problem

Malcolm: Say that shit again!

Loser #1: You’re mad about what I said about that whore of an actress? Who cares!

Malcolm: Bet.

Malcolm: If I fucking see or hear you on this campus again ima put your bitch ass 6 feet under do you understand?

Loser #1: What the fuck dude. Get the guck off me!

Malcolm: Do. You. Understand?

Loser #1: Yes! Jesus Christ you bastard get off me!

[ochrearia]

I don't think I should be allowed to have a brain at this point literally can't do anything without my brain making leaps between vaguely related topics all just to prove I'm untrustable and a love bomber and I'm gonna be honest I think the latter is actually true considering how I've been acting this whole time. And I hate that it took me this long to understand that yes I have been too much and all these other things etc etc

And then I'm self aware it's a spiral but I also don't care that it's a spiral because for once I need to hear it because I know what I'm like and I know I just end up scaring people out of telling me the truth out of guilt or whatever and god I make myself sooooo mad sometimes holy shit. But this is my problem that I caused so now I get to lie in this bed because I told myself I was too much and couldn't act like this and did it anyways. And in my quest that was never going to end well wanting to make everyone feel special. I have made my words mean nothing and thus it's like no one is. Incredible job Ochre

I know what the problem is and I'm going to fix it by stopping all of this because that's really all I can do. And I really have no right to feel like shit because I'm the one who was doing it. And I'm tired of making everything about me too I've needed to stop that shit for a while. Just. No more of all this overbearing affection amongst other things. This is not how I should exist

Literally a bunch of top results of how love bombing works good job me. Actually just fuck off for once. And I need to stop talking about everything like I keep telling myself to so just. One. And that's it. Still better than writing another overdramatic cringe toxic one-shot and dragging YS's character down with me or any of the others at this point. I'm just pissed at myself. Like get real. And in an hour or two I'm going to get even more mad at myself for acting like this outwardly, find someone else to bother

Whatever. Just start over. Again. You'd think I would know better by now. Christ

[moe-broey]

Every day I wake up, I'm full of inspiration and ambition, I lollygag a bit, I kinda skirt around it, I actively avoid The Thing I WANT to do. Then I just kinda give up and do something else.

[carnivalls]

good morning. thinking again of juve and her dog

[altruistic-meme]

sigh.

[keelanrosa]

terfs when a study shows literally anything positive about trans people/transitioning: 'hm i think this requires some fact-checking. Were those researchers REALLY unbiased? Because if they were biased this doesn't count and if they weren't knowingly biased they probably were unconsciously biased, woke media affects so much these days. Have there been any other studies on this? Because if there haven't been this could be an outlier and if there have been and they all agree that's a bit odd, why aren't there any outliers, and if there have been and any disagree we really won't know the truth until we very thoroughly analyze them all, will we? Were there enough subjects for a good sample size? Did every single subject involved stay involved through the whole study because if they didn't we should be sure nothing shady was going on resulting in people dropping out. Are we 110% sure all the subjects were fully honest and at no point were embarrassed or afraid to admit they didn't love transitioning to the people in charge of their transition? Are we 110% sure none of the subjects were manipulated into thinking they were happy with their transition? In fact we should double-check what they think with their parents, because if the subjects and their parents disagree it's probably because they've been manipulated but their cis parents have not and are very unbiased. How many autistic subjects were there because if there weren't enough then this doesn't really study the overlap between autistic and trans and if there were too many then we just don't know enough about what causes that overlap to be sure this study really explains being trans and isn't just about being autistic. How many AFAB subjects were there because if there weren't enough this is just another example of prioritizing AMAB people and ignoring the different struggles of girls and women and if there were too many how do we know sexism didn't affect the results. Was the study double-blinded? We all know double-blinded is the most reliable so if this one wasn't that's a point against it even if the thesis literally physically could not be double-blinded. Look i'm not being transphobic, i want what's best for trans people! Really! But as a person who is not trans and therefore objective in a way they cannot possibly be, i just think we should only take into account Good Science here. You want to be following science and not being manipulated or experimented upon by something unscientific, right?'

terfs when they see a study of 45 subjects so old it predates modern criteria for gender dysphoria and basically uses 'idk her parents think she's too butch', run by a guy who practiced conversion therapy, 'confirmed' by a guy who treated the significant portion of subjects who didn't follow up as all desisting, definitely in the category of 'physically cannot double-blind this', completely contradicted by multiple other studies done on actual transgender subjects, but can be kinda cited as evidence against transitioning if you ignore everything else about it: 'oOOH SEE THIS IS WHAT WE'RE TALKIN BOUT. SCIENCE. Just good ol' unbiased thorough analysis. I see absolutely no reason to dig any deeper on this and if you think it's wrong you're the one being unscientific. It's really a shame you've been so thoroughly brainwashed by the trans agenda and can't even accept science when you see it. Maybe now that someone has finally uncovered this long-lost study from 1985, we can make some actual progress on the whole trans problem.'

[phagodyke]

kind of annoys me sometimes how I can happily listen to my roommate explain the entire plot of whatever she's currently into but when it comes to my interests she can only listen for a few mins before wordlessly walking out of the room

[ankhisms]

can i be emotionally vulnerable with you all in the torture dungeon

[cheekblush]

lmaoooo found out today that my 2 “colleagues” (that’s honestly a too nice of a word for them) complained about me to our boss that apparently i don’t work hard enough and often just sit around doing nothing :)

[twipsai]

thinking more,,

[wren-kitchens]

yk when you can feel yourself starting to stop caring about stuff you love and you are White Knuckling through it because no I Will still love this so fucking help me

[triglycercule]

i want to headcanon the mtt having absolutely terrible hygiene and struggling to keep themselves clean (this MAY... just QUITE POSSIBLY.... only in the SLIGHTEST bit be projection) but i think it would be too gross and man EVEN I dont wanna think about that

also killer canonically smells good and i actually really LIKE that idea so oh shit there goes that idea out the window. horror and dust youre my only hope please let me make you smell bad for reasons you won't understand

[coridallasmultipass]

I am once again begging online shop payment processing companies to allow me to enter a separate name for shipping and separate name for billing!!

It's the same address, I'm just trans and have not legally changed my personal name, but I still prefer to receive mail as my preferred name! Like it's literally my professional name, I do business as my preferred name.

Annoying as fuck, and I don't want to chance my bank rejecting the payment (though I'm sure someone at my bank has put a note to allow it on my account by now, since I've contacted them a couple times before when I realized too late that the billing section didn't let me input another "address/name" section, and they said the payment was fine in those cases.)

Anyway, legal name changes should be free and non-advertised for everyone. Tbh, you should get a free name change every time you file your taxes on time as an incentive for good citizen behaviour. Once I am elected pres-

[minglana]

so what if i killed myself.

[girlcockholmes]

now that my PI is like hey you should actually be sitting in the lab to write instead of doing it at home im shooting one million lasers at his head in my mind. fuck off